Feeling Adequately Inadequate

Every now and then I will be driving down the road and think of something so ridiculously witty and on point that I cannot wait to get home to write it out. Then I get home and life. Suffice it to say, today was one of those days. I have absolutely no idea what it was that I wanted to share with the world, but imagine it was terribly insightful and hilarious and then thank me for having a profound impact on your life.

Now that we have that out of the way, I feel the need to actually share something with my adoring audience. (Hi, hubby!)

But, I’ve got nothing. Absolutely, nothing. Which strangely sums up my life as of late. There is so much going on all the time, almost too much, yet I have the feeling that I am only spinning my wheels. Maybe this is what it feels like to be a stay-at-home-mom and homeschool teacher. I’m still learning, so I could be wrong. I don’t recall reading any labels about being a SAHM that said Caution: May Invoke Feelings of Inability to Accomplish Anything. Were they there and I was ignoring them?

I cannot be the only one that feels this way, can I? Am I?

The realization is ever present of how blessed I am to be able to stay home with our children, to not only take care of their everyday needs, but to also learn them a thing or two… or everything they need to know to be productive and responsible adults. Wow. I am blessed. But I am also a wreck.

My mind has been scrambled, like the image of the eggs, “This is your brain. This is your brain with 3 kids.” Down is up and up is to the left and I think I forgot to put the load of clothes in the dryer. 3 days ago.

My body is in shambles. Yeah, I don’t really want to go there. Big sigh. You know what 3 kids has brought me? 25 to 30 extra pounds. Thanks, kids. And the ability to carry 100 pounds worth of babies and bags in a single leap. Plus a sore back.

My house. Hm.

My clothes. Stained and bigger than I’d like them to be.

My car. Old, noisy, and filthy.

My entertainment. Cartoons, cartoons, and cartoons. Seriously. Even when they are all asleep and the man is not around, I find myself watching cartoons. The Jungle Book is currently playing. I chose it.

My personal time. Limited.

My life. Wonderful.

My heart. Full.

My worth. Endless.

My family. Priceless.

Growing and educating a family is not about meeting deadlines. This is something I need to be reminded of at times, because before children, I worked in a world where every single project had a deadline. And people counted on me to meet those deadlines. Now I work for little monsters who only understand “right now” and I’ve been commissioned to train and prepare them for Eternity. The thing about that is, I do not know when this deadline will be. So, I’ll spin my wheels. I’ll leave those clothes in the washing machine one more day (don’t judge). I’ll focus on my family’s emotional and spiritual needs and feel as if I’m accomplishing nothing, all the while knowing that every single thing I say and do adds to or takes from their well-being. Even the things I don’t say or do.

I’ll continue to feel inadequate, because how could I possibly be fit to do this kind of job? Yet, it is precisely this kind of job that I was created for, so I am the exact person to do it. Mistakes will happen, forgiveness will be sought, love will increase, wisdom will be obtained, and I still will not be able to remember what I originally wanted to write about.

~Lisa

Hey! Your 3 Year Old Just Schooled You.

I am spoiled. A lot of us are. I kind of already knew this, but a recent shopping trip with my three year old daughter really hit it home for me.

We were out shopping with my mom, you see I needed some long sleeve shirts that actually fit thanks to 2 babies and no will-power. I am pretty sure I can make a valid argument for the shirts and for some reason I feel like I need to convince you of that as well, probably because of what my sweet girl said to me while we were shopping.

It started with my browsing of the boot section when we first walked in the store. On the way out I was headed back that way so I could look one more time. Then this happened:

Big Little Girl A: Where are we going?

Me: To look at boots again.

Girl A: Why?

Me: Because I want a new pair of boots.

Girl A: Why do you want a new pair of boots? Mom, you have boots.

Me: I just do.

Girl A: But you have boots, 2 of them. You have 2 boots.

Me: Yeah, I know.

Girl A: And they are good boots. You like your boots.

Me: I know, but I just want a new pair.

Girl A: Why do you want new boots when you have a good boots at home?

Me: Nevermind… I give up.

Schooled by a 3 year old.

I mean, really? She might as well have said "Why are you being so materialistic, mom? You have perfectly good boots at home, that you are lucky enough to actually like, and now you want to spend some more of our family's hard-earned money on more boots. You know, the money that dad works to earn 6 to 7 days a week while you haul us littles around and go shopping for something you don't even need." 

I tell ya, I was feeling pretty sheepish as I turned the corner and walked away from the pretty boots. 

Ever heard that saying "Kids are meant to be seen and not heard"? This is one of those times where I wish it was true, I mean, I am really thankful to be able to hear my little girl's wise words that put me in my place. 

It has also occurred to me that I need a filming crew to follow us around and catch these exchanges on video because I can never really do them justice when I try to retell them.

This is my life and I love it.

~Lisa

Say It Ain't So

She woke up. She woke up and needed a little love to go back to sleep. There is nothing unusual about that and nothing that my hand laying gently on her chest and a pacifier in her mouth couldn't cure tonight. But I had a flash forward, a memory of her big sister when she was a tad older than Little Bit is now. It struck me how different things are this time around.

With the first child we could not wait to watch her grow up. Every milestone was met with fanfare and we immediately looked forward to the next milestone. Neither of us really knew what to expect and it was all just too exciting. Would she ever get her first teeth? Why is she taking so long to crawl? Did you hear her first words? Hurry up and walk, already. :)

I know now what milestones are ahead. I know now that not every child reaches those milestones at the same time. I know now that I want time to slow down. I am no longer in a hurry to see what they will learn next. I am no longer in a hurry for them to grow up. I want to enjoy this just a bit longer.

Yes, there are those days when I want to pull my hair out and I wish these years were past me. But those moments pass and the realization sets in that in a blink of an eye they will be out on their own, building their own families, and awaiting precious milestones of their own little ones. So while temper tantrums and diapers have currently overtaken my life, it is temporary and I am beyond grateful to have this chance to watch them grow and mature into beautiful little beings.

Tonight I look forward to all the bumps and bruises we will encounter along the way. I eagerly await all the tickles and giggles we will enjoy. I simply cannot wait to see everything they will learn along the way, to be there with them while they learn, and to learn along with them.

She woke up tonight and needed me. She will wake up one night and need someone else.

I cherish tonight.

~Lisa

Summer: Too Busy

Our summer has been busy busy, so far. Thankfully, it looks like the busiest part of it is behind us just in time for our life overhaul. When I thought we would make major changes in our home beginning August 1st I actually thought that meant I would have time to research, plan, and make smaller changes prior to August 1st. Instead we are 1 day away and the only thing I think we have done is... Okay, I can't think of anything.

Wait, I cleaned out his closet. That's something, right?

So here we are, 1 day away from starting homeschooling and we are not ready. Which is absolutely not a big deal, the girl is only 3 and at this age we do not need much. But I did want to be ready. What I have figured out is a make-shift plan and that I really could just have her watch Leap Frog videos on Netflix and call it a day. I am teasing. Sort of.

I have been working off and on, well thinking about working on a menu plan for weeks now. Yesterday I finally sat down and noted some easy-ish dinners and I am hoping that today I will be able to plan out the month and then plan a grocery shopping trip. Those are always fun. Side note: We bought a Boba carrier a little while back, and that thing is awesome! I get the most use out of it when grocery shopping. That way I can carry little one and the big 3 year old can sit in the shopping cart and I actually have a place to put groceries. I love it! End of side note.

The budget stuff that I planned to have ready will just have to wait until I am done with the menu planning. We do okay with a mental budget, but I really need it down in written form.

This past month has been trip after trip after trip for our family. The husband was gone a lot taking various out of town trips for work, Bible camp, and a dear friend's wedding. Then right after he was finished with his big trips, the girls and I left for a week visiting family with my parents. We saw family in Tennessee and Ohio. I got to meet my dad's biological mother for the very first time, which was pretty neat. Then we had an 18 hour drive home in one day. Can I just say how lucky I am to have 2 little girls that travel really well? Imagine 18 hours sitting in a car, now imagine being 6 months old and 3 years old and sitting in a car for 18 hours. They were rock stars! There was a little whimpering about 14 hours into it, but for the most part they were great. Come to think of it, the whimpering was probably from me.

So with 1 day left before I start forcing myself to make big changes, today I will just do little things and enjoy time with my girls. Starting with going back to bed. ;)

Hope you will enjoy your day too.

~Lisa

How To Get Vapor Rub Out Of Hair (in 50 easy steps)

If you are wondering why I would post about how to get vapor rub out of hair, you need to read this.

Caught up? Great!

I thought for sure that vapor rub had won this battle against mommy. I was doomed to letting it slowly wash out on its own or we were just going to have to shave off her hair. Not really. Though I honestly wasn't sure if I could win this one, I was going to give it another go.

This is what her hair looked like this morning, after already being washed 3 different times. Still greasy!

So we grabbed the olive oil.

And we soaked her hair in it.

After soaking her hair in olive oil and squeezing out the excess, we got the dish soap again.

Lathered her hair up and let it sit for a few minutes before rinsing with warm water. We repeated this step one more time while she screamed and cried and threw a perfect little fit about getting water in her face. 

And? It worked, mommy won!!!

This is the face of a girl who does not want to have to wash her hair 6 times in 2 days again. Ever.

Look how great her hair looks now! It seriously looks so soft and shiny (not greasy) that I plan on doing the same with my hair. Now where is that vapor rub?

In the middle of one of the dish soap cycles, I asked Sweet Girl if she thought it would work. She said no. Hurt. my. heart. she did. Shouldn't this girl have every confidence in me? She was acting like the other three attempts we made did not work.

If you want to try this at home, start by giving your toddler a jar of vapor rub. If they cannot open jars on their own, open it for them. Now tell them you will have all sorts of fun if they will empty that jar full of vapor rub all over themselves being sure not to miss their head full of hair.

Special thanks to Whitney! Your suggestion rocked!

~Lisa

Wash it out!

I "googled" something I never would have thought about looking up until today. 'How to get Vicks Vapor Rub out of hair?'

Yep.

You may not have known this, vapor rub does not wash out of hair very well at all.

Last night, little girl A is sitting on her bed calling for her mommy. When daddy went to check on her I hear "Honey, you might want to see this!", which I think was followed by "You have a big mess to clean up." Well, I am thinking worst case scenario here, and since she has been potty trained for a year now this was not going to be good for her... or me. I go in there and she is covered in Baby Vicks Vapor Rub. There were big clumps of it all over her clothes, her arms, her hair, her bed, and her hand was still in the jar. (I should have taken a picture!)

So, not worst case, which was good.

Another positive, it cleared up her sinuses...and everyone else's in the house.

We, yes we, he helped even after saying I had a mess to clean up, got the girl cleaned and gave her a bath. Funny thing, her hair just looked like it was never going to dry and when she woke up in the morning it still looked wet. This stuff does not come out of hair!

I tried washing her hair again today, to no avail. Which led me to your friendly neighborhood Google search and a couple websites saying to wash hair in de-greasing dish soap and warm water. Well, why not? Here's hoping this works!

It did not.

Maybe I need to go and buy some Dawn tomorrow, that and baking soda. Baking soda was a suggestion from a friend tonight after Bible class. Hopefully something will work or it will eventually just wash out on its own.

Do you have any ideas, other than Dawn dish soap and baking soda?

~Lisa

For now, sweet girl's hair looks wet and greasy, which is apparently a very 'pullable' look. She was getting her hair pulled by her little sister who looks like she was really quite enjoying it.

Ugh, Life

As I sit here in my dirty tank top and yoga pants, holding a sleeping 4 month old, staring at a living room covered in mess, and envying a friend who does not have kids as I look at her Facebook page, I remind myself that I need to get it together. Maybe you have felt the same way. Your life is consumed with little kids and their messes and their needs and you just feel like you have lost yourself somewhere in all the chaos.

Yes, that's it, I'm lost.

I forget who I am, no, who I was. I am definitely not the same person I was 5 years ago, pre-husband and pre-children, I am completely changed. I remember spending hours fixing my hair or shopping for new pretty clothes for myself, doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Sure I worked, but I worked to support my own desires. Now? Well, now I'm lucky if I can manage a shower during the day. Even luckier if I can shower and put some mascara on. The best of days? A shower, little bit of makeup, and hair that doesn't look disastrous.

But, really, is that the best of days? No. Not at all. The best of days are the ones where I'm sitting on the couch in my dirty tank top and yoga pants, holding a sleeping 4 month old, staring at a living room covered in mess, and watching Bubble Guppies with my 2 year old. Comparing myself to a friend who seems to have it all because she isn't busy with little children is basically dumb. Yep, dumb. You see, I have it all! I know that even in my worst of times when I feel like pulling my hair out and asking for a straight jacket that I really do have everything there is worth having in this world.

God has blessed me with a loving husband and two beautiful little girls and I cannot imagine ever going back to the person I was before my life changed.

So, I guess "getting it together" really means just remembering how thankful I am for this chaos I'm living in.

Hope your day is equally as chaotic as mine, the good chaos, only the good. :)

~Lisa

Mornings

For about a week now I have been sleeping on the couch. No, I'm not in the proverbial dog house, I just cannot get comfortable enough to sleep in bed anymore. Or if I do fall asleep, I will wake up in excruciating hip pain and will be barely able to walk for half of the day. So, the couch it is. The couch is wonderful. I can bounce out of "bed" with almost no pain, wait, can women in their 3rd trimester bounce? Okay, let's reword that, I can roll out of bed with almost no pain! I can walk without looking like a 95 year old woman, make that a 95 year old pregnant woman. Did I mention it has been wonderful?

Obviously sleeping on the couch means my sweet husband was in bed alone, well, let's face it not alone, our sweet little girl refuses to sleep in her own bed so our bed it is. I really need to get that under control, but all I want to do right now is sleep at night, not take a toddler back to her room every time she gets up. I suppose I should just bite the bullet and forgo some sleep to get this done. Anyway, back to my sweet husband, after a couple nights he decided he wanted to sleep in the same room as me and dug out the air mattress and has been sleeping on that in the living room floor for a few nights. I know it cannot be the best night of sleep for him, yet I'm so thankful that he is doing this because I can still feel like we are sleeping together. 

With everyone sleeping in the living room, after sweet man goes to work in the morning I have been just sitting on the couch and catching up on Facebook, Pinterest, pregnancy boards, you name it. I could start cleaning up around the house, but then that would wake up sweet girl and I do not like dealing with a grouchy sweet girl at all. This girl is a handful when she hasn't gotten enough sleep, so much like her mommy she is. So I do believe I'll keep with my routine for a while longer, who knows, maybe one day soon (preferably before baby comes) I'll be able to sleep in bed again.

Hope your routines are a little more exciting than mine! 

~Lisa

Child

My sweet girl does so many wonderful things everyday. I'll post some of it on Facebook throughout the week, but it takes a lot of restraint not to tell everyone all the time how smart and sweet and silly she is. She really is amazing. Yes, I know, all mommies feel their children are amazing. I see nothing wrong with that. ;) What are some amazing things your children do or have done in the past?

This week girlie A has decided her favorite saying is "What's that? It sounds like... noise." It doesn't matter what it is, a truck outside, the tv, a car horn, it is all noise. Daddy snoring. All noise. At least she is right. Some of the things she comes up with really surprise me. The imaginations of children are amazing.

The husband and I are expecting our 2nd child in a few months and little girl is so excited about it all. She loves to hug and talk and sing to mommy's belly and will practice comforting her "babies". I am looking forward to seeing how she reacts to her baby sister come January.

~Lisa

Why?

I am not sure why it seems so difficult to write regular blog posts. Well, other than the fact that I don't really feel like I have all that much to say. Yet, here I am trying once again to entertain.

Things have been going great for our little family. Sweet Girl is 18 months old and as sweet as ever. Sometimes I wish I could clone her and have about 7 more, then she starts to throw a full body tantrum and I change my mind. Oh yes, the full body fits are fun to deal with and take a lot of skill on the parents' side. Not only are you trying to get your kid to stop the tantrum but you are also trying to keep the kid from hurting his or herself by banging their little heads on the floor/table/bed/wall/tub/concrete/you name it. I'm sure I never caused my mom so much trouble, she must have gotten this trait from her daddy. (I'm joking, of course.) Even despite the crazy Toddler Tantrums she is the most precious thing I've ever seen. Not biased at all here.

The past few weeks she has decided she wants to hug and kiss all.the.time. I love it! Her daddy loves it too. I see such sweetness and innocence in her and I hope she will always be that sweet and innocent.

Sweet Man and I made the decision before we even had little girl that we would homeschool her when the time comes. I have been thinking about it alot lately and trying to do a little research online for different curriculums and resources. It really is overwhelming! Now I most likely will not start anything with her until she is 3 or 4, so I have at least a year and half to get my head wrapped around the enormous responsibility this will be. Obviously, things could always change so it is not 100% definite that we will be homeschooling, but it is what we are planning on. If you have taught your children at home or have ever taken time to research the possibility you'll understand where I'm coming from when I say it is overwhelming. There is just so much information out there to weed through. I think, at least to start, what I need is curriculum that includes everything I would need for a year. Now to find a good one for preschool age. Again, I have a year and a half I just really like to be prepared.

So that is a tidbit of what has been on my mind lately. I hope your life is just as peachy.

~Lisa

Amazing...

It is so amazing to me how fast life can change. In a single moment, everything I've ever known will forever be different. It was 7:28 p.m. on Tuesday, July 27, 2010 when my "single moment" happened. My sweet husband, my mom, three or four nurses, and my doctor were all around me, holding me, helping me, coaching me, screaming at me to push, and telling me I was almost there. Then it happened. My beautiful, perfect, tiny, sweet baby girl was born. All the work my body had been doing for 9 months, all the preparations we had made, all the prayers we sent up, and here she was. Perfect. Life-changing.

That "single moment" that seemed to be the culmination of so much was really only the beginning of so much more. This baby that depended solely on me before she was born, would continue to be completely dependent on her father and me. She would exhaust us and worry us and make us happier than we could ever imagine.

That "single moment" was five weeks ago. Five weeks we have lived in this new life of ours. I feel so very blessed to have Sweet Girl in my life and to have this responsibility of raising her. I hope and pray that the man and I will raise her as our Father would have us to and that we will instill in her a love for God beyond all others. I pray that we will always be good examples to her and that she'll always know how much we love her and want nothing but the best for her.

That single, amazing moment will forever be engraved in my memory. In this rare quiet moment I am motivated to start a series of posts addressed to Sweet Baby. I can think of so many things I'd love to tell her about growing up and make good choices. Hopefully I won't lose that motivation....

~Lisa

Countdown to Baby A

Yesterday our doctor decided she wants to induce me next Tuesday morning. At first I was about to go into a panic attack and tried really hard to keep it together. This morning I feel a lot better about it, I guess dealing with all the emotions yesterday and getting a chance to sleep on it has helped. Of course, come Monday night/Tuesday morning I'll probably be in a panic again!

Sweet Man is so excited! He has been asking for a couple weeks now if we could go ahead and induce, lol. I think the not knowing when she would come was really making him nervous. Now that we have a date set and an actual day to countdown to he'll probably start getting just as anxious as I have been.

So, in 5 days we should have a precious little baby girl in our arms. I suppose this new reality won't hit me until we bring her home from the hospital, and even then I'll probably be too tired to really think about it. Having a baby is pretty major stuff! haha I know people do it every single day, but it is a pretty big deal. It definitely isn't like buying a new camera or some sort of electronics that you can return, where you are all excited about buying it and a little apprehensive about spending the money. Then you get it home and realize it is a lot more work to operate than you had imagined, so you return it. Nope, this is not going to be anything like that. We are excited, apprehensive, and we'll get her home and realize we were not at all prepared, but there is no way we are sending her back. So our lives will forever be altered come Tuesday and we can't wait! :)

~Lisa

30 Weeks

Today I feel as though I have reached a milestone. I am 30 weeks pregnant. That means I am 3/4 of the way there, with only 10 more weeks to go. Of course, there is no way of knowing when Sweet Baby A will choose to make her appearance into this world! All I hope and pray for is that when she does choose to be born that she will be strong and healthy, and will go easy on mommy here! :)

So for the past 30 weeks, A's daddy and I have prayed, hoped, and dreamed about what is to come for us. I know we will continue to pray, hope, and dream about what type of person she will turn out to be, what kind of choices she will make, and what kind of impact she will have on others until we draw our last breaths. The responsibility we now have of nurturing and mentoring a young precious soul is so very overwhelming at times. Even with that overwhelming feeling, I take comfort in knowing that our Lord will help us to raise her in a way that He desires as long as we continue to desire and strive to do His will. Many wonderful Christian parents have raised their children in the Lord and their children have turned out to be great workers in the Kingdom. I am so blessed to have been a product of strong Christian parents and am thankful to have my mom as an example of what I hope to be as a mother!

Approximately 10 weeks left to prepare myself for this awesome job I have to do! 10 weeks to pray. 10 weeks to dream. 10 weeks to reflect. 10 weeks to love. 10 weeks until we begin a lifetime of the same.

~Lisa